As I remember it

I was sitting on a rock in the middle of a green field beneath a willow tree... I listened to the birds singing there songs of praise as I watched the trees with brilliant colors dance in the wind... I take a deep breath and close my eyes... for a moment everything was right...

as I open my eyes I see the world as dark and cold as my heart... the clouds were black and rain fell as crimson blood drops... and around me was death... the birds no longer sang songs of praise but of hate... the trees no longer danced they burned... a fowl smell filled the air... a tear drops from my chin and landed on a white rose turning it black as night... the petals started to wilt... I close my eyes in fear... praying I will wake from this nightmare...

I hear a whisper... I turned to look for the voice... as I turned towards the voice I see a bright light... I looked beyond it and saw three crosses one of which I saw a crimson river flowing from... I dropped to my knees and started crying asking for forgiveness... a voice as strong as a lions but as sweet as a lambs asked me "Why do you cry my child?" I then turn and tell him what I have done and how I have fallen so far and don't see how I will ever be forgiven... ashamed of what I had told him I looked down and started to weep... he then knelt down and wept with me...

I asked him to please forgive me that I was truly sorry for what I have done... he then rose and said "My dear child... I forgave you when I died on that cross... As I was on that cross... you were on my mind." as I close my eyes I breath deep and a new peace filled my lungs... I then felt a gush of wind hit me bringing me back to reality... I then think of everything I have done and mistakes I may make in the future...

as I start to feel disappointed I remember that Jesus will be there with me through it all... no matter what!